Tips and Tricks For Stress Management

Do you find yourself responding to a voice in your head that wants you to meet it’s every demand? That is stress in its natural habitat. A huge factor of stress is change. We go through our daily activities not always knowing what is going to come next, or the answer to every struggle we face. Each and every activity we face in our daily lives is subject to constant change which causes human beings to become “stressed.”

Stress can be anything from problems at home or work to academics. People react to stress in various ways such as headaches, sleeplessness, depressed mood, anger, and irritability. We all experience immense amount of stress on a daily basis, but learning how to cope with and manage our stress is the key to survival.

I have grown up with a strong passion for yoga. I use my practice not only for the physical benefit, but for the mental strength it provides me. I have acquired the ability to use my practice as a time to focus on my breathing and no other external factors. I learned how to take one hour out of my day to just be in the moment and not worry about anything going on outside of my mat. Although yoga is not for everyone, there are a vast amount of other stress relieving activities. Any other form of exercise such as walking, running, biking, and going to the gym are all ways to improve your stress levels. When we endure in physical activity, our bodies release endorphins which in turn increase our overall well-being, and lower our stress levels.

Maintaining a healthy diet is also a strong factor when coping with various kinds of stress. I have noticed over the years that when I consume healthy foods, I am happier. While we all love to indulge in foods that taste great, they harm our body in a negative way when dealing with stress. Eating fruits and vegetables, and foods that are high in protein such as cottage cheese, almonds and tuna will stabilize your mood. Eating vitamins and minerals like folic acid and B vitamins directly affects mood in a positive way.

Drinking water is a key factor in lowering your stress level. When your body is dehydrated it does not function properly. When you’re stressed, you’re heart rate increases and you’re breathing more heavily which causes your body to become dehydrated. Making sure your body is receiving the proper amount of water daily will help to lower stress.

Each and every human struggles with an immense amount of stress on a daily basis. The only way to fight the ongoing battle is practicing the appropriate ways to manage the little voice in our head telling us what needs to be done. Soon enough the voice in your head will start to be a motivator in fighting your stress.

My yoga teacher taught me that the Law of Impermanence is one of the three universal laws taught by Buddha.  This law states that everything is subject to constant change.  As I reflect on the past, I have experienced many life changes.  As I look to the future, I will continue to meet new challenges.  These changes and challenges will be similar to what I experience on my yoga mat.

I began practicing yoga at the age of eight.  As I began attending yoga regularly, I started noticing changes in myself.  Not only did I build up physical strength through challenging yoga postures, but I built up mental strength.  The yoga studio where I attend classes is a life changing place where I have learned skills to better myself and connect with a diverse group of people.

My friends, like my yoga, are an extremely important part of my life.  Growing up in a small community, it took much courage to step out of my comfort zone.  Upon entering high school, I expanded my circle consisting of a comfortable group of friends since nursery school, to include a diverse group of new friends.  I took a greater step and spent the summer of 2011 attending two different pre-college workshops in fashion marketing, one in Los Angeles, California and the other in Manhattan, New York.  The hardest part about attending these workshops was leaving my friends for the summer.  However, meeting people from all over the country of different cultures and backgrounds opened up my mind to accepting yet even more new people in my life.

As it is a challenge for me to meet new people, every yoga class that I have attended has helped me become stronger.  Not all yoga poses are comfortable and many require strong determination and focus.  These challenging yoga postures have helped me accept every challenge I encounter in life.  When I begin any challenge with a “yogic” mind, I emerge with a great deal of self-acceptance.  When I accept myself, I can accept others in any situation.

The untarnished porcelain skin was smooth against my seven-year-old hands; I never wanted to let my Barbie go. Her straight, silky blonde hair tickled my skin as I led her into her Barbie Dream House. I did not know this at the time, but this doll would shape my self-esteem for years to come. I dreamed of having her long blonde hair and tiny body, she was my idea of perfection. I wanted her life; to have a boyfriend like Ken, her pink Corvette convertible, and to have a mansion with anything I could dream of. Playing with Barbie was always the cool thing to do as a child, from setting play dates with friends to play Barbie’s to dressing up your dream doll from head to toe. At my young naive age, I was unaware that the perfection of Barbie was unattainable.

Throughout the world, Barbie has been an influential icon to girls who strive to be just like her. Barbie the fashion doll was created in March 1959 and is the figurehead of Mattel dolls and accessories. She has been an important part of the fashion doll market for years, and has been the subject of numerous controversies and lawsuits, often involving the parody of the doll and her lifestyle (Winterman).

Barbie was unlike any other doll when she came onto the market. Before Barbie, children primarily played baby dolls. These dolls would teach girls how to be moms. They would teach children how to care for babies, feed them, and make sure they were always safe. When children owned a Barbie, their mindset changed and they no longer cared for their baby doll. Instead of caring for their new object of affection, little girls hoped to become their new toy. They also saw more opportunities available for their future. Girls learned that they could go to college, get a job, be successful and earn an income that would allow them to independently support themselves. Barbie’s endless supply of clothes, shoes, houses, and other accessories caused young girls to believe they too could own a limitless supply.

Not every country is fascinated by Barbie’s appeal. In Fiji, the citizens view women of healthy weight as attractive. Television was introduced to Fiji in 1995 and a trend of dieting and losing weight began (Generation M). In 1995 Saudi Arabia banned the buying and selling of Barbie’s because it violated strict dress code for women (Developmental Psychology). The Saudi Arabians are ahead of the rest of the world in recognizing the negative impact and psychological influence Barbie has on young girls turning into women. Each country has their own perspective on how Barbie affects their culture.

In a study for Developmental Psychology, Helga Dittmar, Suzanne Ive, and Emma Hailliwell showed 55 out of 162 children between the ages five and eight, pictures of Barbie. The children exposed to the Barbie pictures reported they had a greater desire for a thinner body and expressed a lower self esteem than the other girls who were shown a size sixteen doll (plus size, average American women is size 12-16) or not picture at all. The studies’ findings imply that, “even if dolls cease to function as aspirational role models for older girls, early exposure to dolls epitomizing an unrealistically thin body ideal may damage girls’ body image, which would contribute to an increased risk of disordered eating and weight cycling” (Developmental Psychology). Most young girls who play with Barbie Dolls do not realize it affects their views of what is considered beautiful and acceptable for women, as well as how they felt about body image. The influence Barbie has on the way the world views women commonly goes unnoticed. Barbie has a negative influence on young girls, making them feel self-conscious about their appearance by comparing her impractical features to their realistic bodies. If Barbie was life size, she would possess impossible measurements; amounting to a size four, 101 pounds, and the unbelievable height of six foot (Winterman).

Some girls have even taken the extreme measure of mutilating their bodies to mimic Barbie’s. In 2010, reality television star Heidi Montag endured ten plastic surgeries simultaneously at the young age of 23 years old. Montag was interviewed to find what influenced her to go under the knife and Montag has stated in several interviews that she just wanted to “look like Barbie” (Developmental Psychology). Would the media show more realistic women if Barbie was never created? Would it change how the media began to portray women and their idea of beauty?

The average girl from ages three to eleven own at least ten Barbie dolls and spends hours playing with them and dressing them up (Mirasol). The more time anyone spends with anything, the more influence it has on them. It is estimated that eight million people in the United States have an eating disorder, and only 10-15% of them are male. Which leaves 85-90% of them to be female. 80% of those females are under the age of 20. Many admitted that they started worrying about their weight at the age of four and six years old, around the age that a girl gets her first Barbie doll (Mirasol). Many of the girls that have eating disorders admitted that Barbie played a crucial role on their perspective of behavior and looks (Gohlar). They were led to believe that the only way to be happy was to not only be pretty, but to be “perfect.”

In 1965, Mattel came out with a “Slumber Party Barbie” that came with a complete bathroom set including a scale permanently set at 110 pounds. The doll also came with a book entitled “How to Lose Weight,” and inside the book had the advice: “Don’t Eat” (Grenoble). The matching Ken doll also came with slumber party accessories, but his were milk and cookies, sending a very different message about body image and weight for different genders.

Barbie is also known for her looks, perfect hair, makeup and clothes. Barbie has also led girls to spending hours caking on makeup, destroying their hair with dye, using straightening and curling irons, and begging their parents for clothes from the most expensive and popular stores all to try and achieve this perfect look. The knowledge drilled into children’s developing minds both boys and girls, through advertising is that Barbie is the ideal looking woman, sticks in a child’s mind as they grow older. Ukrainian model, Valeria Lukyanova, has paid over $800,000 in order to look like Barbie:  she now has an 18” waist, 39” hips, and 34” bust. If Barbie was a real person her measurements would be somewhere around an 18” waist, 33” hips, and 39” bust, which is pretty close to Lukyanova’s. Not only has she gotten plastic surgery, she wears blue contacts and changed her wardrobe to one that would resemble what Barbie would wear (Krupnick). The fact that Lukyanova and many others find this acceptable and beautiful shows the significance America puts on superficiality. Lukyanova is not the only woman to drastically alter her looks to imitate Barbie. A woman named Sarah Burge is also coined as the “real-life Barbie.” She spent around $900,000 on over 100 surgeries to achieve the “Barbie look.” Burge now claims that she has a lot more confidence and admits that “it’s okay for women to be something they’re not” (Eugenios).

I conducted a survey on several Michigan State students about how Barbie may have influenced them when they were young. One student said, “Barbie is known as the pretty doll. You see Barbie’s long blonde hair, blue eyes, and weight, and assimilate that to how normal humans should look and aspire to be like her” (Burgess). Another student said, “I definitely saw Barbie as someone who was beautiful and wanted to look like her. It never led me to develop an eating disorder or anything like that, but I really wished I was blonde and tall over being short and brunette at the time” (Luettke). The last student said, “Barbie influenced me in a way that she was a role model to me, and other people my age looked/dressed like her, which is how I wanted to look when I was young” (Fullett). Barbie was every little girls’ role model, and even though she personified many aspects that were admirable, she also represented some that weren’t.

To promote National Eating Disorder Awareness Week (Feb. 27-March 5) the professionals and volunteers of South Shore Eating Disorder Collaborative created a Barbie called “Get Real Barbie.” The first thing anyone looking at “Get Real Barbie” will notice is that she does not look like the original, classic Barbie. This life-size figure is actually as “real” as Barbie gets. Barbie’s unrealistic proportions have such a vast effect on children that by sharing this “Get Real Barbie” with the public, discussions can begin about the unrealistic media images that often lead young people to diet and exercise in dangerous and unhealthy ways. Those who diet are eight times more likely to develop eating disorders (National Eating Disorders). Women come in all different shapes and sizes and the SSEDC (South Shore Easting Disorder Collaborative) and NEDA (National Easting Disorder Association) wants to help young women throughout Boston “get real” information, “get real” expectations and “get real” help.

Being a proud daughter of Beverly Price, who owns a holistic eating disorder treatment center and outpatient mental health clinic in Royal Oak, Michigan called Inner Door Center, I am an avid promoter for eating disorder awareness. My expert Mother admits: “Body image is influenced by many aspects–from politics to the mass media. These social contexts set an ideal that has been difficult to achieve and has a powerful influence on body dissatisfaction, which may develop into disordered eating. Even at a young age, our society is shaping a negative body image and an unrealistic goal. Young girls have been known to play with a figure that demonstrates a highly unlikely ideal of a rail-thin woman with a natural bust line that is physiologically impossible. Barbie is the first exposure to the unrealistic ideal of what someone is supposed to look like according to our society. From this exposure, a foundation is set for development of body dissatisfaction as one strives to obtain an unrealistic goal. It is important, at that age, to promote healthy eating, moderate physical activity, and participation in activities that promote self-esteem to reduce the influence of these images” (Price). After I stopped playing with Barbie, I often struggled with my weight as a child, and would often compare myself to people around me that were labeled as “prettier” or “skinnier” than me. My generation is exposed to a vast amount of media that portrays the idea of beauty and what it takes to be beautiful such as advertisements, magazines, fashion shows and celebrities. As I grow up, I realize that there will always be people considered “prettier” or “skinnier” than me, but what truly makes people who they are, isn’t their physical characteristics, but who they are as a person. Personality and how we treat others ultimately trumps the idea of beauty in the real world. I hope that by the time I am a parent, I can expose my children to a “real life Barbie” so they do not become brainwashed by society’s incorrect view of “beauty.”

By: Marketing and Social Media Intern Elana Price and Guest Writer Becca Luettke

You may also find, in the early stages of your healing work, that you become physically ill. If you are not allowing feelings to come to the surface, they will manifest themselves physically. Or, perhaps feelings do come up or you. You notice that you are crying more often or begin to have stronger feelings than usual. This is when many individuals want to bail from their healing program.

Are you crying more?  This may be a breakthrough vs something negative. Are you “talking about feeling” or “feeling, feeling”?  Are you focusing on food—counting, measuring, and weighing… or focusing on the emotion behind the food.

Perhaps the balancing of effort and ease is observing the discomfort you may find in new approaches to your healing, but yet surrendering into these new approaches without judgment or attachment to the outcome. Observe your body, your breath and your behavior without reacting or judging.

Individuals who wish to embark on a healing journey, often get wrapped up in the outcome vs. allowing themselves to experience their own journey.  Practicing mindfulness can help you see beyond an intense situation.

Mindfulness Principles:

Attention – Can you wake up and become fully alert to the present and live in the here and now, appreciating ordinary and joyous moments?

Intention – Can you choose to pay attention to the present vs. worrying about the past or future?

Affection – Do you treat yourself and others with kindness?  Or, are you so hard on yourself that commitment cannot ever be possible as the perfect moment becomes unattainable?

Mindfulness Practice:

Patience – Cultivate patience with yourself and the process that is in front of you.  Don’t expect to know and learn everything with a minimal investment of time.

Trust – Trust the process vs. worrying about what will be or what should be.  Go with the flow and “allow” vs. resist.

Beginner’s mind – Show interest and curiosity as if you were approaching something for the very first time.  Maybe you have been in a treatment program or a training program that you feel is similar.  Can you approach your healing/learning work with a fresh outlook and know that you can always learn something new?

Non-striving – Don’t try so hard to “get it right.”  Take each step while being in the moment.  Make it a personal journey of exploration.

Non-judging -Are you judging what lies before you or are you really judging yourself?

Acceptance -Accept what you cannot change and learn from the outcome vs. beating yourself up.  Obstacles are our greatest teacher.

Letting go/letting be – Letting go of the past allows you to return your attention to the present moment.  Resist getting attached to the outcome.

Letting go and staying present is hard work.  Ultimately, being mindful opens the doors to all new possibilities.

Thinking about all of this brings me to the title of this blog, “How Do You Present?”  Do you come to your treatment team as is, or do you only allow them to see what you want them to see.  If so, is this really helping you to move forward in your recovery?  This can cause multiple issues such as finding the correct diagnosis and providing the right treatment. 

Take time to find a treatment team that you fully trust and take down your walls.  This will allow you to get the treatment you fully need.  Most importantly, this will help you to not feel so alone.  You will not be carrying around your private information as a burden.  

Do you sometimes feel as though your thoughts and behaviors are controlled by your emotions? Marsha Linehan (1993), the creator of DBT, notes that when your emotional mind is in control, you may find that logical thinking and planning are difficult, and that facts often are distorted, made larger, or more important. Unfortunately, this has led many people to think that all emotions are bad and should be gotten rid of or avoided.

However, consider a more moderated stance: all emotions can be both useful or destructive. Emotions have a function and do something for you. Contrary to what many in our society believe, every emotion happens for a reason and can give you and those around you insight. For example, you might be angry at someone for criticizing you, be happy that a loved one is coming to visit, or be surprised that it is a nice day when rain was predicted. Each emotion has a function and serves to fulfill a need. One of the biggest benefits of emotions is that they communicate to others. Facial expressions and physical responses function like words. When you’re sad, you frown. When you’re scared, you might have a shaky voice. When you’re ashamed, you might hide in your room. And whether we intend it or not, the communication of our emotions influences others–bringing them closer or pushing them away.

It might be difficult to understand how negative emotions like sadness, anger, shame, and fear could be useful. Consider our ancient ancestors who relied on fight or flight (anger or anxiety) in order to survive. Anxiety signaled that there was danger and that it was time to flee. This was a protective behavior. Anger signaled that there was a threat and that it was time to protect yourself and others. This too is a protective behavior.  Our anxiety today is signaling us to protect ourselves as we perceive a threat in our environments. What about sadness? Often, sadness tells us that there is something that you are not getting what you want or need in your life. This is a signal that we need help finding those things that we need.

For any emotion you feel, it is telling you and others something is going on. Every emotion happens for a reason and serves a purpose. That said, emotions come and go. They are kind of like waves in the sea. Acceptance of the sea of your emotions can allow for the benefits of emotions to serve you.

Nourish–Cassie

**Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder by Marsha Linehan (1993) for more insights into how your emotions serve you.

So what is the best diet?  People ask me all the time when they find out I am a RD.  My universal answer is, no diet at all.  This answer always gets a look of disbelief and scrutiny.  I then quickly tell the person I am speaking to, to let me explain myself.  My advice goes as follows: 1. Eat a well-balanced meal plan that includes all of the food groups in the amounts recommended by the government.  (visit myplate.gov to read the recommendations) 2. Eat breakfast, it has been shown that you are more likely to be overweight if you skip this meal. 3. Be mindful before you eat and while you eat.  Take the time to sit down and eat your meal at a table where you can pay attention to your hunger and satiety cues. 4. Do not tell yourself that you are not allowed to eat something.  This is similar to when someone tells you “don’t think about ______”, you automatically start thinking about that word.  Allow yourself to include previously forbidden items in your diet in an appropriate serving size and frequency. From there I would individually work with the client to make adjustments as needed per their medical condition.

Inner Door Center® strives to teach its clients how to be mindful while they eat and to learn beneficial information about the benefits of a well balance meal plan.  Visit innerdoorcenter.com to learn more about our available services.

Your Yoga mat is an excellent teacher and metaphor for change.  Holding uncomfortable postures and experiencing your edge is a dynamic way to change from the outside-in.  The meditative aspects of Yoga can help you go inside to discern what feels right for you at any given moment.  The message from your Yoga teacher or Yoga therapist can be heard on a deep, connective tissue level.

Want to work on transformation?  Inner Door has numerous resources available for you from our day treatment program (partial hospitalization), private yoga therapy to group therapy in the evenings.

Visit innerdoorcenter.com today to read about the resources we have to offer or call 248-336-2868

Take this theme and apply it to your own life.  Think about ways that you can incorporate some of your favorite or fear foods into your meal plan so that you are not eating a restrictive diet.  Take time to think how you can include foods without overindulging.  Not sure how to make these changes?  A registered dietitian can help you.  Visit innerdoorcenter.com or call 248-336-2868 to learn more about our nutrition services that we have available to you.