Are you addicted to your drama—can you verbalize these attachments and the benefits you receive by holding on to these attachments?


 

Why do you keep getting into the same kinds of relationships, having the same kinds of arguments, encountering the same kinds of bosses, etc?  Our bodies are addicted to emotional states.  When we have repeated experiences that generate the same emotional response, our bodies will develop a craving for these types of experiences.  Like addictions, we will draw experiences toward us that give us a fix.

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3 thoughts on “Are you addicted to your drama—can you verbalize these attachments and the benefits you receive by holding on to these attachments?

  1. What an interesting question and insight into why we are drawn to certain situations, yet expect the result to be different.

    I seem to be drawn to “needy” bosses who I have to continually feed and nurture to make them feel better. When I stop feeding and turn the attention to be a healthier person myself and get away from the drama, there is a change in the relationship and it becomes strained. I resent how much work and effort I put into this person and they resent it when I stop and tell me “I am not myself” or “I have changed”.

    I never ever saw this in myself before you posed the question-thank you.

  2. I used to get into friendships with needy people, but in a relationship I turn into the needy, clingy one.

    I get a kick out of helping others and out of organising events – I want to be admired and loved, and feel that by helping and organising I make myself worthy of that. If a friend has a problem I cannot fix, I feel like a failure – and a lot of needy people sense this, so they have used me in the past.

    I am more aware of this situation now, and as for the friendships I am turning it around, although it takes a lot of effort not to return to old habits. As for the relationship-part, well, I am glad my boyfriend is the patient man he is.

  3. Little Wing,

    I see myself in your comments as well “I want to be admired and loved, and feel that by helping and organising I make myself worthy of that. If a friend has a problem I cannot fix, I feel like a failure – and a lot of needy people sense this, so they have used me in the past.”

    I was the doormat and martyr and that seemed to be my role in life. What I didn’t know is that be playing that role I was sending myself messages of “walk all over me, use me, I am worthless, poor me”

    Trust is a huge issue for me as well, I feel that people are going to disappoint and hurt me so I use the drama to keep them from getting too close for comfort.

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