Brooke Mallon, is one of Inner Door Center’s enchanting yoga therapist. She is a constant support for clients, and her words help guide them through their recovery. Brooke understands that recovery is a difficult road, but one that can be driven. Here she shares her story about how she fought against her resistance to recovery and found her inner strength.
– Leigh Halterman, RD
“Recovery is not meant to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be so hard either, if you can trust the process and surrender to healing. At the Inner Door Center there will be times when you feel uncomfortable, when you dislike being challenged, or feel pushed to your emotional edge and your habitual reactions will surface whether you rebel, push against, manipulate, avoid, hide, or run away. But if you can honor your commitment to treatment and welcome the challenge in a safe and supportive environment, you may realize that you are being gifted the opportunity to discover that you can get through anything. Through this exposure therapy, you begin to experience that the discomfort you feel is temporary and it’s not about changing the outside world or even about changing you but about connecting to greater depths within yourself, so you can respond to life, rather than react to it. Through the work of recovery, you begin to free yourself of limiting patterns of the past and reveal the updated new you.
In my own journey of healing with Bulimia Nervosa, I was desperate for help and thankfully, I was accepted into treatment. Yet knowing that I needed help, I still resisted my treatment team and resented my present circumstances, thinking that somehow I knew better. When I first arrived to inpatient, I felt horrified, repeatedly thinking the thought that “I don’t belong here” over and over. I was immobilized by the thought, until I had a new thought, a little voice within me in the stillness that said “I’m here.” “I’m here. “I AM HERE.” And eventually I began to feel the reality of that, “I am here and I need to be here.” From this place of acceptance I became open to receive, I became open to my healing journey.
Now I as I help others reconnect in their own recovery, I often see them resisting the support and structure of their treatment plan, which only creates more dis-ease, more stress, more struggle and less room for progress. I want to tell everyone in treatment to make the most of each moment, to be grateful, to be honest, to be real about what you want and feel your feelings, so you too will know the law of impermanence and that this too shall pass. You won’t have to follow program rules forever, eventually you will be given your life back and you will be given the tools to use your inner GPS, but for now give up the fight and lean on your support. Accept where you are, yes, you will be challenged, but down the road you will be so grateful for those moments where you felt most vulnerable and made it through with greater self-awareness and inner strength. ”
– Brooke Mallon